Navigating College Move-Ins: A Parent’s Emotional Journey

Over the course of seven years, I completed 16 college dorm move-ins. Friends would say, “You must be an expert at this by now!”—but my responses were always bittersweet.

Yes, I learned to navigate Target like a pro during move-in weekends.
Yes, I learned that boys need different dorm essentials than girls (mostly because if they run out of something, they’re more likely to just do without rather than replace it).

Yes, I mastered efficient unpacking, box-folding, and stocking up on grab-and-go snacks for those inevitable missed breakfasts.

And yes, I learned to bring plenty of tissues—because every goodbye was as emotional as the first.

The Heartache of Saying Goodbye

Whether I was dropping off a freshman or a senior, a son or a daughter, the emotions were the same. Leaving a piece of my heart in a new, distant home was never easy.

Each move-in was a test of trust—trust that:

✔ The values instilled at home would carry them through challenges.
✔ They would make wise choices, even when faced with uncertainty.
✔ They would ask for help when they needed it, and find supportive mentors and friends.
✔ They were in the right place, surrounded by people who would help them grow, explore, and thrive.

And perhaps hardest of all, I had to accept that their everyday life was no longer my everyday life. Their stories, their struggles, their triumphs—they would share as much or as little as they chose.

My College Drop-Off Rituals

Like many parents, I had my own goodbye traditions—small acts that helped me cope with the impending distance.

🔹 I needed to see their room “decorated”—posters up, memorabilia displayed, a space that felt uniquely theirs.
🔹 I had to be the one to make the bed—tucking in the sheets, fluffing the pillow, smoothing the comforter, and adding an extra blanket at the foot (even if it was 100 degrees in the Midwest that day).

Would that bed ever look that neat again? Probably not. But at least on that first night, my loving hand had left its mark.

The College Search: A Foundation for Success

The goodbyes at move-in were preceded by an equally emotional and important process: choosing the right college.

Every family’s college search is unique, and ours was no different. It was a journey filled with:

🔹 Self-discovery – Who were my children, and who did they want to become?
🔹 Evaluation of strengths and challenges – What academic and social environments would set them up for success?
🔹 Unexpected twists – Major changes, frantic phone calls, and even a transfer or two.

But if the measure of success is the outcome—fulfilled, passionate, confident adults—then each college search, no matter how imperfect, was worth it.

Final Thoughts: More Than Just a Move-In

A college move-in isn’t just about organizing a dorm room. It’s about trusting in the journey—both the one that led your child to this moment and the one that lies ahead.

For parents going through this transition, embrace your own rituals. Find the small things that bring comfort, connection, and closure. And most of all, remember:

✔ Your love and guidance will always be with them, no matter the distance.
✔ This is their time to grow, explore, and thrive.
✔ You did your job—and you did it well.

Because the best college experience isn’t about the perfect dorm setup—it’s about the foundation you’ve already built.