College Move-In Day: A Parent's Guide to Letting Go and Saying Goodbye
Navigating the Emotional Journey of College Drop-Offs
Move-in days are now in my rearview mirror, but the memories remain timeless. After completing 16 college dorm move-ins over a seven-year period with my children, I've gathered both practical wisdom and emotional insights that might help other parents facing this significant milestone.
What I Learned from 16 College Move-In Experiences
Friends often said, "You must be so good at this by now," and my feelings were always bittersweet. Yes, I became efficient at navigating the local Target during the chaotic move-in weekend rush. I discovered that boys and girls have different dorm essentials (primarily because boys will simply live without items rather than replace them, so I learned to stock up while I was still there).
Over time, I mastered the art of:
Unpacking efficiently to maximize small dorm spaces
Folding boxes flat to store under beds for eventual move-out day
Ensuring healthy grab-and-go breakfast options were available
Always carrying plenty of tissues in my purse
The Emotional Reality of College Goodbyes
Saying goodbye—whether to a son or daughter, freshman or senior—was always emotionally challenging. Each departure meant:
Leaving a piece of my heart in a distant location
Trusting that years of parental guidance had taken root
Acknowledging that their daily life would continue without my participation
Understanding they would share only as much or as little of their new experiences as they chose
Finding Peace in the College Transition
These goodbyes also meant believing they were in the right place for that moment in their lives—somewhere they could live the values learned in our home while being encouraged to explore beyond family boundaries. I needed to trust they would know how to ask for help when needed and that supportive peers and mentors would respond appropriately.
Personal Rituals That Helped Me Cope
I developed my own rituals, which my children learned to accept. To visualize their space while away, I needed to see their room "decorated" with posters, curtains, or memorabilia before leaving. Most importantly, I had to be the one who made their bed—tucking sheets, fluffing pillows, smoothing comforters, and placing an extra blanket at the foot (even during 100-degree Midwest days).
These physical acts of parenting helped me cope with the impending distance. Though the bed might never look that way again during the school year, I found comfort knowing that on their first night away, my loving touch was present.
The College Selection Journey: Setting the Foundation
The foundation for these move-in days began long before, during the college selection process. This journey involved exploring who each child was and who they hoped to become—evaluating their skills, challenges, strengths, and needs.
Like most families, our process wasn't perfect. We experienced major changes, frantic phone calls, and even transfers between schools. However, if success is measured by the outcome—fulfilled adults who discover their passions in environments that value them—then each college search process ultimately succeeded.
Preparing for Your Own College Move-In Experience
As you prepare for your own college drop-off, remember that this transition, while emotional, represents exactly what successful parenting looks like: raising independent young adults ready to forge their own paths while carrying your values with them.
Have you experienced a college move-in day yet? What rituals or preparations helped make the transition easier for your family?